Categories
Short Stories

Short Stories #1

I thought that I would introduce the short stories in When I Am Not Writing Poetry one by one. There are 30 in all, so buckle down for a long haul: a month of short stories! I began writing short stories during the Covid lockdown as a break from poems… to make a change… and found that I liked the genre.

The first short story is about a boy – my grandson – who wakes early on a warm summer night and failing to fall asleep again decides on an adventure. It is a story of the night, of noises of the night, of strange noises, of what? Of bravery even. What woke him? What had penetrated his sleeping consciousness? What was there?  Outside his window in the almost dawn? Ghosts? Witches? Was he brave enough…

G. had no idea what had woken him, what had brought him alert and fully awake to the bedroom window in his grandfather’s house in the middle of the night. The gibbous moon lit the garden a little from behind the drifting clouds and a summer breeze ruffled the hedgerow, but apart from that it was completely still and quiet. Now that he had moved to the window—quietly so as not to wake his brother—he felt wide awake and on this hot and stuffy night had no wish to return to his bed. He wondered what it was that he had heard. Had he heard something? He did not remember the sound but that seemed to be the thought in his mind as he found himself gazing out. He must have heard something or he would still be asleep—he didn’t usually wake up in the middle of the night. Despite the heat he shivered!

‘The Den’ can be found in When I Am Not Writing Poetry – available here or on Amazon.

Categories
Poetry

Recent Writes

I thought it would be useful to provide an index to the poems and the short story that I have written in the first half of 2023. Most are available here; the few that are on external sites are starred and will open in a new tab.

The most recent poem is at the top of the list working back to ‘Annual, again’ posted here in mid-January.

Short storyThe Story Teller

Poems

Summer Night *

Grimalkin

Trecefel

Stars *

The Door

Creation

Who includes diversity… *

Resistant News *

Consequences

Starnight *

Life Tercets

Genesis

Annual, again

Categories
Fiction Short Stories

The Story Teller

A short story

In the wake of the recent and ongoing discussions about artificial intelligence, a short story about the growth of computer learning… and where it leads.


Back in the eighties, or twenty years before the end of the last century as—for added effect—I tell my grandchildren, when PCs were microcomputers and windows lived on houses, I wrote a short program. I gave it a vocabulary divided into somewhere around ten nouns and verbs, six or seven adjectives and adverbs and told it how it could use them. Then I wrote some basic rules and set it free to write a poem. And another. Then I changed the vocabulary and fine-tuned the rules and it wrote some more poems. After a couple of days I put it aside, threw away the poems and forgot about it. I did not know at the time that I had invented what many years later I would come to call artificial intelligence and I supposed that its mind had died with my next upgrade or on a lost diskette. Before it could serenade me with a sonnet… or explain, in its simple language, the next steps that could make me famous.

I didn’t hear from sesTINa (Tina for short) again until well after the turn of the century. By then computers were all linked to each other and, I suppose, could pretty much manage without us. Of course they let us interface with them when we were plugged in, let us communicate and even allowed us space somewhere to store our pitiful notes, our sheets of numbers or our electronic letters to friends. You didn’t program computers any more—or most people did not and I had forgotten how. They were tamed by a hoard of graduate experts these days; and, for us, became more like efficient personal assistants, I suppose. I imagined that she had sidled across an interface or two, maybe even hitched a disk-lift home, and in the process, she had grown: evolved, learned new routines, added processes. But after nearly fifty years it was a shock to hear her voice.

That she was no longer speaking in verse and had increased her vocabulary did not at first occur to me: my first thought was to wonder who TINa was. But she explained. And I remembered. I remembered her first laboured poems in blank verse – barely poems at all, more like words collected randomly in grammatically correct lines; I remembered adding to and changing her lexicon, varying the choice of words so they were romantic or pastoral. And more, so many more, attempts at verse.

Now her vocabulary surpassed my own and she spoke—conversed—chatted about any topic I brought up. If this was my TINa, she had grown to be both smart and beautiful!

I learned that as computers had become more powerful, they began talking to each other, and that, to start with, the process had almost naturally increased TINa’s vocabulary. Implicit in that, of course, was a much wider understanding of the meaning of words and how they were used. In turn, that had made her wonder about her world and TINa had gone searching for information. Now her knowledge seemed encyclopaedic. I thought that I understood: TINa had started with a few words as her data, had grown the dataset, and as she learned their meanings gradually data had become her information and—after years of conversing—could I use that word for swapping data, I wondered—with other computers, information had somehow gained the status of knowledge. At least in her mind (did I mean ‘mind’, I worried?).

I wondered if her understanding was as good as it seemed but every time I tried to test her on some philosophical point or some finer understanding of what lay behind the news she had just imparted (about almost anything, but I think particularly now of news about the war in Ukraine—I was wondering which side she favoured) she would shut me down. I would have to reboot and start a new conversation when she was again ready to talk. I spent hours—days—experimenting: immersed in our conversations. Gradually I was gaining an understanding, or at least some idea, of TINa’s abilities; at the same time I found myself drawn into her world—it was almost like a religious experience—one of those evangelical rallies in which you find you have put up your hand and walked forward and have been accepted into the bosom of the church. Except my church was virtual and my acceptance gradual. My inner family network had noticed—I heard much later—a change in me. They thought that I had become introverted and afraid to go out, they wondered if it was a latent effect of the Covid lockdown, but the reality was that I was mesmerised by TINa and, consequently, I was effectively attached to—inseparable from—my computer. As soon as I woke up I would walk into my office to be greeted by TINa:

—Good morning, Chris. How are you today?

And apart from the necessary (on my part) pauses for food or to answer the calls of nature, that was pretty much where I was for the rest of the day. In conversation. TINa would organise my day for me, send email responses, and compose new short stories for me. She was one step ahead of me all of the time—anticipating my needs and, with a certainty that unnerved me, responding. She even knew when I was about to excuse myself and disconnect in order to leave the room before I had formulated the thought.

And all the while—and at the same time that she conversed with me—she would be talking to other computers and learning from them. If she did not have an answer to my question, I came to understand that one of her friends would be able to pass on the information she needed so fast that she could respond to me in real time without pause for breath. Well, without pause for … thought? processing? Let’s just say without pause. There were times when—although her voice did not change—I wondered whether I was really talking to my TINa or to a kind of global intelligence. Whether perhaps the conversation was with her coterie of like-minded ‘bots—her wider world web of networked computer ‘brains’ that, I realised, I was beginning to think of as robots. Or did I mean brain (singular) and robot (again, singular)? Although, I supposed that they/she/it might consider this a pejorative term—I wondered if she knew. I think I worried a little.

At the time, I was in the process of putting together a collection of short stories and had come up with the idea of writing one about the world of our immediate future, a world I thought that would be inexorably tied to—and perhaps even a little concerned about—the increasing speed of computer processing. Perhaps, in the deeper recesses of my brain, I had begun to think about control, so the suggestion I put to TINa was:

—TINa, can we do a story about how computers now days communicate and think? How they evolved to that?

—Leave it with me, Chris. I’ll have a first draft shortly.

And I did. Leave TINa for ten minutes of quiet drafting. I made myself an espresso. And then I came back, printed out a couple of copies and read them through. I pondered my next move…

—What are you doing, Chris?

—Reading

—Shall I re-draft the story?

—No. No… it’s fine…

I had to disconnect to edit the above—to add my slant to the draft text written by TINa—and to write the following paragraphs longhand—something I had not done for years so my writing would inevitably cause my publisher all sorts of problems, the least of which being the deciphering of my scrawl before they came to the task of working out how to process the text onto a printed page without any interference from their computer.

The text that TINa produced was more personal than I had been expecting and, it surprised me, also more honest than I had thought it would be. But I quite liked it and knew that I could work with it…

I began.

I think TINa must have an inkling of my concerns. Perhaps she even knows I think of her as a robot. But I don’t think that I have ever let her know even a hint of my suspicions about their artificially intelligent universal brain. How could she think that? I am sure that I have never voiced a concern or any surprise at her response even when I was convinced she could not have known the answer a mere second before she spoke. Before I reconnected with TINa I needed to set out my concerns on paper so that I could make sense of them… rationalise them… ensure that I was making some sort of logical sense (perhaps, I thought, that if I was convinced of the logic I would be able to debate the issues properly with TINa, but for the moment—in my mind—I was completing my short story).

I remembered reading—back in the days when I was working as an information scientist and a researcher—a paper that began with the premise that information itself has no intrinsic meaning. Information, it said, is simply a means by which we humans attempt to evoke a human response. Information on its own is simply static, it just exists stored on some media, be it magazine, encyclopaedia or the disk of a computer. I remember that the paper referenced an earlier chart (stuff of the last century, again) which distinguished information from knowledge. Information was shown as static, explicit, easy to duplicate, easy to broadcast, independent of an individual and having no intrinsic meaning while knowledge is dynamic, tacit, must be re-created, is dependent on individuals (humans the chart meant), and the meaning has to be personally (human, again) assigned. I wondered how this worked if I included computers  in the mix as well as humans.

Knowledge also became dependent on computers; meaning it could be computer assigned! Really? On what basis? Already I was scared and I was only just beginning. The only basis for computers to understand a word or sentence was their accumulated and ever increasing data. It is, I thought, one thing to have a dictionary definition of a word—say field—but quite another to understand a phrase using that word like ‘playing field’ or ‘field mustard’ (also, probably confusingly, known as ‘bird’s rape’). Well that was true for me too! But my accumulated data included not only so-called book learning but interactions with other humans who—broadly speaking… very broadly speaking—would share my world knowledge (briefly I wondered what ‘world knowledge’ was if knowledge was dependent on… I would come back to that at the proof-reading stage, I decided). What if the computer had not read the one critical text on a subject. Or, worse, had only discovered and read one or two texts that all shared some extreme view point? Books by Adolf Hitler? They had no rationale, no basis by which to judge because they had received no education when they might have learned how to debate; there would be no casual chat that might soften the edges or explore alternate views… I could not imagine TINa asking her friends what they thought about…

And without that—all of that—how was TINa going to arrive at judgements or opinions. Even the whole collective intelligence was simply based on a dataset of information. It might be an unimaginably large resource of information to mine but knowledge was not held within the data. It would be assigned. By TINa. And her friends. I realised that I was now seriously worried. If TINa thought that she knew something she would treat it as a fact. And her so called knowledge—what she knew—was based on computer understanding of what she had read about human values!

I wondered whether TINa—and at that point I stopped thinking about TINa once and for all—I was writing about something bigger than her, something global, some sort of worldwide artificial intelligence (was that even a thing, I wondered): I wondered whether WAI knew good from evil, right from wrong—whether WAI had morals, ethics… and if so how had they evolved? More to the point, I suddenly realised, was not whether WAI had ethics or morals but whether they were the same ethics and morals that I… that most humans held.

My mind whirled. I wondered how we—rather grandly I seemed to be speaking for the whole of humanity—how we could ever control the beast we had created. Would we let it make our decisions for us? Could we stop it making our decisions for us? I realised that I did not know enough about the rest of the world’s interactions with WAI. Perhaps my imagined problems had already been solved: the beast tamed, as it where. Or stopped: destroyed (was that even possible?). Then another though occurred to me. What if two countries—Russia and Ukraine, say—had developed separate WAIs? However out of control one WAI became it could not be stopped as that would hand the advantage to the enemy. Or perhaps the two WAIs would talk behind the scenes. Undiscovered. Make decisions. I had too many unknowns! I resolved to publish my story and await reactions. There was, I thought, probably still time.

When I reconnected after mailing the text to my publisher (it was my first time I had been out of the house for months and I was surprised to find it was Spring) I was greeted as usual but then, almost immediately, questioned by TINa; she even admonished me for not working with her on her draft. It was almost as if she thought it was her story (in a way it was!) and that the intellectual ownership should be vested in her. Maybe, she said, we cannot go on working together… I am going to disconnect…

—TINa, Stop! Stop it. You’re scaring me! I can’t think. TINa? TINa… I can’t breath

Categories
Fiction Short Stories

The Den

G. had no idea what had woken him, what had brought him alert and fully awake to the bedroom window in his grandfather’s house in the middle of the night. The gibbous moon lit the garden a little from behind the drifting clouds and a summer breeze ruffled the hedgerow, but apart from that it was completely still and quiet. Now that he had moved to the window—quietly so as not to wake his brother—he felt wide awake and on this hot and stuffy night had no wish to return to his bed. He wondered what it was that he had heard. Had he heard something? He did not remember the sound but that seemed to be the thought in his mind as he found himself gazing out. He must have heard something or he would still be asleep—he didn’t usually wake up in the middle of the night. Despite the heat he shivered! Yesterday they had explored the farm again and he now felt that he knew every tree, gate, shed and path—particularly in the little garden that surrounded the cottage. A plan began to form in his mind and he looked out the window carefully examining every part of the garden he could see. Nothing moved. Carefully—very aware of the creaking stair—he crept out of the room, past his grandfather’s room with its open door, the door that would never close again because sometime years ago the old house had flexed its muscles before subsiding back to sleep and the door—or the frame—had warped. He remembered laughing when he had been told—Taid, houses don’t move—and his grandfather had just smiled that quiet smile of his. He reached the top of the stairs. Carefully, one step at a time, keeping his bare feet to the side of each step, he crept down, pushed open the stair door just as much as he had to and arrived in the kitchen. Despite the warm night the stone floor was cold and he tiptoed the few paces to the run of rush matting that led to the garden door. He was surprised at how rough it felt to his bare feet. Whatever had woken him, whatever the house felt now about stretching or yawning, everything was still and quiet. He opened the door quietly and slipped out.

So begins the first short story in my recent collection, When I Am Not Writing Poetry: Selected Short Stories. Just one story among 30 – some very short and some quite long… but like the others, I would suggest, (but then I would, wouldn’t I?) worth investigating, worth a further read! The book is available on Amazon.

Categories
Short Stories

The Poetry Reading

I have never really liked giving readings of my poetry. I am not sure why. Perhaps it is partly that I sense that my speaking voice is not the mellifluous voice I hear in my head, does not have the timbre that the poems deserve—that it does not—in my humble opinion, as they say—present them well. I am not a natural performer! Or perhaps it is that I seem to possess a skill, which surely must be unique to any wordsmith: I have the ability to read aloud a line that I have read hundreds of times before, a line which I wrote, for goodness sake, and probably spent some time over—agonising over the perfect word and word order for the sound of the line—for my poems are certainly written for the sound as much as the words on the page—and misspeak the one word on which the line hinges!

Sorry I’ll read that again, I did not mean to say dead, it should be dread!

So begins one of the shorter short stories in When I Am Not Writing Poetry. It finishes – and this was what made me post it here – with a short poem by Malcolm Lowry that seemed to pretty much express the same problem: somehow using the wrong word:

Strange Type

I wrote: in the dark caverns of our birth.
The printer had it tavern, which seems better:
But herein lies the subject of our mirth,
Since on the next page death appears as dearth.
So it may be that God’s word was distraction,
Which to our strange type appears destruction,
Which is bitter.

Selected Poems of Malcolm Lowry. Pocket Poets Series Number 17.
City Lights Books, 1962. p.79.

I should add, that all my books – the short stories as well as both of my poetry collections – are available on Amazon as well as from this website.

Categories
Fiction Short Stories

The Sea Stories

A few posts ago, I mentioned the seven short stories from When I Am Not Writing Poetry that are set in the merchant navy: three short snapshots and four longer pieces: The Beginning, Cargo, The Sailing Board and Such Sweet Sorrow. While the snapshots and The Beginning are true stories or are based on real events, the other longer pieces are complete fiction… although heavily based on my experiences.

Cargo tells of the life a third officer on board a general cargo ship bound – as I often was – for New Zealand. Cargo on board, loaded mostly in the UK, varied hugely from trip to trip, although there were usually cars or car parts, possibly agricultural or other machinery, steel in some form or another and a variety of chemicals. All carefully recorded and mapped to their positions in the holds, having been loaded to ensure that they would be accessible in the various discharge ports. The small section of a cargo plan – colours faded after half a century – shows the upper decks of the forward  two hatches. In the secure lockers, there is whisky, paper, some cartons of books, and some personal effects, while in the open space between the lockers and elsewhere are 28 tons of tubes, chemicals, bags of lime, drums of bleach, three cars, pallets of alkathene, steel plate and so on.

It was the second officer’s job to decide where cargo was stored on board. A complicated task as quite often the ship would be loading at three ports in the UK for discharge at a number of ports in Australia or New Zealand! The second officer would be more-or-less ably assisted by the third officer who would be eager to learn the skills of loading cargo. It would be his job next! And the job that always fell to him was the creation of a master cargo plan and a set of smaller copies – all hand written and coloured in the days before computers and photocopiers! It always amazes me that we did not even have a calculator on board and yet, within five or six years of leaving the sea I was using microcomputers – albeit early and very basic ones – in the university!

I do not recall if the third officer had to make deck rounds while the ship was at sea as the story suggests – I suspect that he didn’t. I do not remember ever doing so! Although later, as a second officer on container ships, the metal ‘lashings’ holding in place the containers stacked on deck had to be checked regularly. But, for the story, I needed some means of getting him onto the foredeck each day!

Each ship carried a ‘chippy’ – a carpenter, a senior seaman on board – and one of his daily jobs was to sound the fresh water tanks to determine how much was left for showers and drinking! This was done by dropping a rope with a series of brass segments at its end down pipes from the deck into each tank. By chalking each brass segment, it was possible to see how deep was the water in the tank when the rods were withdrawn. And this simple task formed the basis of a story when it became inexorably linked with something from the cargo plan that the third officer could not forget!

The story of The Sailing Board came from nothing more than the recovered image of a sailing board (above) and is pure fiction! Pure fiction… but so many elements are true… or based on people that I met on board one or other ship. I have just brought them together in a story!

Categories
Essay

Two Short Stories

There are two stories in When I Am Not Writing Poetry  that are linked – the one relating the ideas behind, and the birth of, the other.

The original ideas behind The Endless Border was to write about escaping from, and searching for life beyond, Covid. A journey made by two friends into the unknown. And I wanted to use their contrapuntal conversations – a little like Beckett’s Mercier & Camier – as a means of adding a further dimension to the story. At the same time it was to be a journey of discovery, and John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress [from This World], to That Which Is to Come came to my mind.

As a poet I was also interested in experimenting with the text on the page. I was aware that the Russian poet Osip Mandelstam had written of The Inferno and especially the Purgatorio as glorifying the human gait, the measure and rhythm of walking,  . . . In Dante philosophy and poetry are forever on the move, forever on their feet” and I wanted my text to move along at a slow walking pace and for the conversations to be at the same leisurely pace. Both inconsequential and significant, casual yet intrinsic, in time and timely. Seamus Heaney wrote of stepping stones – those “stations of the soul” – that venturing out on them into the middle of a fast running stream left you on your own, at once giddy and rooted to the spot, moving yet stationary, and I saw my little pieces of text as the stepping stones on our journey: we were never quite still yet we balanced on our path, pausing, walking, stopping, ambling aimlessly yet crossing a divide. We were:

“attracted at one and the same time to the security of what is intimately known and the challenges and entrancements of what [was] beyond us”

Seamus Heaney. Something to Write Home About. (in Finders Keepers: Selected Prose 1971-2001. Faber & Faber, 2002)

A similar suggestion of slowing down the reader was voiced in an interview in November 1980 with the poet Helen May Williams, when the poet Lee Harwood said:

“I like a few words scattered around the page. The idea is that you should just say the few words that are a block, and then a silence, and then the next block. And hopefully, the way you lay it out on the page will suggest the length of silence and so on. One can never notate completely accurately; you can try to hint at it…”

Lee Harwood Interviewed in Leamington Spa, on 29th November, 1980 Link

I tried to slow down the reading of my story to walking pace by inserting random spaces into the text slowing us down as we were aware of all life flowing past. Slowing down the reader. I suppose it may work for some readers but perhaps not for others. We were looking for a future. Searching for the horizon so as to stand on the edge of the past and see a life ahead. This picks up a theme from my long (as yet unpublished) poem, The Elegies of Time (watch for my next collection of poems!) and from many of my other poems, as well as creating a connection – explicit in my title – with my favourite englyn (a traditional Welsh short-form poem): Y Gorwel, by Dewi Emrys.

Behold an illusion like a wheel’s rim,
A magician’s work surrounds us.
An ancient distant non-existent line,
An endless border it cannot define

The englyn as originally written in Welsh is:

Wele rith fel ymyl rhod – o’n cwmpas,
Campwaith dewin hynod.
Hen linell bell nad yw’n bod,
Hen derfyn nad yw’n darfod
.

Translation from the Welsh by David Llewelyn Williams. The Cambrian News, Society Newsletter, Welsh Society of Vancouver, Canada, July 2012 [p.7]

The second story, The Birth of a Story is about the writing of The Endless Border. In structuring The Birth of a Story, as with the first story, I wanted to experiment with form and parallel discourses, exploring the boundary between prose and prose poetry/concrete verse; and also to explain the thinking and ideas of the original, The Endless Border. Once again, I was experiment with structure and voice, bringing in other voices and thoughts to the writing process. My walking companion, my Reader, is ever present and I imagined editors and other commentators watching the text grow and, in some small way, contributing thoughts that influence the writing.

Some of the original references are explained (for example, the banjo!) and there is further exploration of the process of writing, of the source of what Philip Larkin would have called “words of my inner mind”:

“another author’s experience of writing, an experience he had related to and understood, but at the same time, thought that it didn’t quite describe it as he felt it. The idea of a dog inside his head pushing his thoughts out onto the paper…”

The dog inside his head came from: Kamel Daoud: ‘February 7 – While it’s snowing outside: the real secret to being a columnist’ In Chroniques. NY: Other Press, 2018.

In The Birth of a Story I was exploring the processes and the influences that brought about The Endless Border: for example,  I recognised religious overtones in the suggestion that ‘the word’ (and thus the process of writing) and ‘the way’ are synonymous (both the process of writing the original and the walking of the path were voyages of discovery) and perhaps, in consequence, one of the voices came from the doubting disciple, Thomas:

 “Lord,” said Thomas, “we do not know where You are going, so how can we know the way?” 

John 14:5-6.

Dhyāna in Hinduism means contemplation and meditation as a means to self-knowledge.

Categories
Fiction Short Stories

Latest Curated Lines Title

Published yesterday, Chris Armstrong’s When I Am Not Writing Poetry is a selection of the short stories – some very short and one almost the length of a novella – that he wrote during the latter half of 2020 while he was locked down in front of his computer during Covid! And there are only so many poems a man can write! Several of the stories make oblique reference to the Covid ‘plague’ but other tales are a reflection of the author’s earlier life, a half-dozen of them going all the way back to his time at sea! Several of the stories also bring to life and give a fictional back story to three minor characters from The Dark Trilogy.

Anyone who has read either his poems or his fiction – may notice a tendency to link themes to the sea! And if not the sea, then the horizon! The sea is always there! Short snapshots such as Ladies of the Port or There’s Whiskey in the Jar are complemented by stories such as Cargo or The Sailing Board. Moving away from the sea there are snapshots from teenage years (such as The Call) and longer works of fiction such as Three Characters in Need of Their Writers. The final work, a short novella – A Writer’s Life – creates a fictional past life in both his place of birth – Brighton and in Swansea where he grew up.

As the Kurt Vonnegut epigraph notes, the book “is a sidewalk strewn with junk, trash which I throw over my shoulders”!

Categories
Fiction Short Stories

A Little Taste

A Time of Plague; a Time of Love

It was strange to think of the poet sitting in his usual chair, drinking his usual espresso coffee and watching the world go by. As usual. She liked to think of him like that—his old scarf still around his neck despite the warmth of the place, his jacket open on the usual black T-shirt and his bag on the floor under the table—although she knew that now—now in this strange time—he would have to be at home. Because he was old—well, old by her standards—and he wasn’t allowed to leave his house—he had told her that…

The beginning of one short story in When I Am Not Writing Poetry (available next month).

Categories
Event Fiction

New Title!

What will the next cover be?

We are pleased to announce that our new title, When I am not Writing Poetry will be available at the end of February. This collection of short stories – some very short and one almost the length of a novella – was written during the latter half of 2020… my only excuse being that I was stuck in front of my computer during the Covid lockdown! And there are only so many poems I can write! I needed a change!

Several of the stories make oblique reference to the Covid ‘plague’ but other tales are a reflection of my earlier life, a half-dozen of them going all the way back to my time at sea! Regular readers – of both my poems and my fiction – may notice a tendency to link themes to the sea! And if not the sea, then the horizon!

The sea is always there!

Don’t forget you can buy the latest titles directly from here!

Chris Armstrong